[I haven't posted here since JANUARY? Jeez.

Song by Audioslave. I dunno, I just like it.]

On a cobweb afternoon
In a room of emptiness
By a freeway I confess
I was lost in the pages
Of a book full of death
Reading how we'll die alone
And if we're good we'll lay to rest
Anywhere we want to go

[Chorus]
In your house I long to be
Room by room patiently
I'll wait for you there
Like a stone
I'll wait for you there
Alone

On my deathbed I will pray
To the gods and the angels
Like a pagan to anyone
Who will take me to heaven
To a place I recall
I was there so long ago
The sky was bruised
The windows bled
And there you led me on

[Chorus]

And on I read
Until the day was gone
And I sat in regret
Of all the things I've done
For all that I've blessed
And all that I've wronged
In dreams until my death
I will wander on...

[Chorus]

[Jeff Buckley. Not much else to add.]

I heard there was a secret chord,
That David played and it pleased the Lord.
But you don't really care for music, do you?
Well it goes like this : The fourth, the fifth,
The minor fall and the major lift,
The baffled king composing Hallelujah.
Hallelujah, Hallelujah,
Hallelujah, Hallelujah.
Well your faith was strong but you needed proof.
You saw her bathing on the roof.
Her beauty and the moonlight overthrew you.
She tied you to her kitchen chair.
She broke your throne and she cut your hair,
And from your lips she drew the Hallelujah.
Hallelujah, Hallelujah,
Hallelujah, Hallelujah.
Well baby I've been here before.
I've seen this room and I've walked this floor.
I used to live alone before I knew you.
And I've seen your flag on the marble arch.
And love is not a victory march.
It's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah.
Hallelujah, Hallelujah,
Hallelujah, Hallelujah.
Well there was a time when you let me know,
What's really going on below.
But now you never show that to me, do ya?
But remember when I moved in you,
And the holy dove was moving too,
And every breath we drew was Hallelujah?
Hallelujah, Hallelujah,
Hallelujah, Hallelujah.
Well, maybe there's a God above,
But all I've ever learned from love,
Was how to shoot at someone who outdrew ya.
And it's not a cry that you hear at night.
It's not somebody who's seen the light.
It's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah.
Hallelujah, Hallelujah,
Hallelujah, Hallelujah.
Hallelujah, Hallelujah,
Hallelujah, Hallelujah.
Hallelujah, Hallelujah,
Hallelujah, Hallelujah.
Hallelujah.

[Haven't updated this in a while, so I think I'll post some lyrics... haven't really done much original stuff since my last post, actually.

Not sure of the original source, but I found it via Moulin Rouge.]

I follow the night
Can't stand the light
When will I begin
To live again?
One day I'll fly away
Leave all this to yesterday
What more could
Your love do for me?
When will love be
Through with me?
Why live life from
Dream to dream
And dread the day
When dreaming ends?
One day I'll fly away
Leave all this to yesterday
Why live life from
Dream to dream
And dread the day
When dreaming ends?
One day I'll fly away
Fly, fly away...

[From one of the Cowboy Bebop soundtracks. Words by Tim Jensen, music by Yoko Kanno. Gorgeous stuff.]

Like the perfect ending
It won't be too long
Till everything I've ruined has seen me gone
In time, I pray you'll forgive
Now you know the man I am
Can you forgive me?

I fall
Like the sands of time
Like some broken rhyme
At feet no longer there

If only I could call the rain to melt and wash away the pain you feel
I would
You gave yourself to me and showed me what the truth could be
For that, I say thank you
This was my life
It never made much sense to me

With every lie that I lived
Part of me would fade
Into this empty shadow I've become
And now I feel so numb
I no longer know myself
But I still know you

I call
And there's no reply
Like some phantom cry
On ears too far away

I close my eyes and watch as my life passes by
The only thing I see is you
For all the times you walked the line for me and standing by my side
I say thank you
Here lies my life
It never felt that real to me

You'll always mean so much to me
And there's no reply
And there's no reply
You'll never know how much you meant to me
And there's no reply
And there's no reply
You'll never know how much you meant to me

If only I could call the rain to melt and wash away the pain you feel
I would
You gave yourself to me and showed me what the truth could be
For that, I say thank you

I close my eyes and watch as my life passes by
The only thing I see is you
For all the times you walked the line for me and standing by my side
I say thank you
You in my life
It all meant so much more to be...

(by Reamonn. This is one of those songs I don't think I'll ever escape...)

You can tell by the way
she walks that she's my girl
You can tell by the way
she talks she rules the world
You can see in her eyes
that no one is her chain
She's my girl, my super girl

chorus:
And then she'd say
it's okay, I got lost on the way
but I'm a super girl,
and super girls don't cry
and then she'd say, it's alright
I got home late last night
but I'm a super girl,
and super girls just fly

and then she'd say
that nothing can go wrong
when you're in love, what can go wrong
and then she'd laugh
and night'd turn into day
pushing her fear, further along

[chorus]

and then she'd shout, down the line
tell me she's got no more time
'cause she's a super girl,
and super girls don't cry
and then she'd scream, in my face
tell me to leave, leave this place
'cause she's a super girl
and super girls just fly

('Nother Tegan & Sara one. This one might just be my fave. Should be the last set of lyrics for the evening...)

stand up sit down baby
gonna be a formal dress down hey day
we decide why not go downtown
how about you and me we go get wasted
you'll have, you'll have to excuse me
please please, please excuse me
you'll have, you'll have to excuse me
this will be my first time
by definition from grade school to English 30
we quietly become strong so early
take it or leave it they can't believe it
they go from kindergarten to killing sprees
they go from heartache to inner peace
100 foot ceilings 100 percent deceit
he said let's leave this between you and me
my cats watch my stuff leave my house
between you and me the cat burglars are
what did you see what did you steal
tell me baby how does it feel
yeah how do you feel
it's a top ten list of the things that move me the most
a top ten list of the things that bother me most
a top ten list of the things that scare me the most
I'd have to say that the future
wasting time in the fast food line
I decide to walk the fine line
and celebrate life celebrate death I choose
to celebrate the first
I celebrate the first
we decide to go out walking
the whole time that we're talking
convinced that we're living
the whole time that we're dying
we decide to go out walking
the whole time that you're talking
convinced that you're living
the whole time that I'm dying
keeps me on my toes where did the time go
you keep me on my toes where did the time go
on the edge of town where the gravel's thin they're
gonna wear you down
until you're thin and tired tired tired
of wasting time in the fast food line
I decide to walk the fine line and
celebrate life celebrate death I choose to celebrate
the first to come the first to go the first to say yes
the first to say no
I'm gonna seize this moment
the first to come the first to go the first to say yes
first to say no
we decide to go out walking
the whole time that we're talking
convinced that we're living
the whole time that we're dying
keeps me on my toes where did the time go
keeps me on my toes where did the time go
you keep me on my toes where did the time go
you keep me on my toes
you keep me on my toes

(Okay, I like this one more for the chorus than anything else. The rest don' make a gaddamn bit of sense half the time.)

showers pounding out a new beat
I trade my old shoes for new feet
I grab a new seat
I don't like the one I got the fabrics wearing through
and it's wearing me out
you're wearing me down
watching old baseball games and low budget telethons
ain?t like watching you yourself when you yourself is on
got time to wander to waste and to whine
but when it comes to you
it seems like I just can't find the time

so watch your head and then watch the ground
it?s a silly time to learn to swim when you start to drown
it's a silly time to learn to swim on the way down
if I gave you my number would it still be the same
if I saved you from drowning promise me you'll never go away
promise me you'll always stay

closed down the last local zoo
I'm gonna win the endless war
over who kills the last koala bear
and who in death will love him more and I
he grabs me by the hand
drags me to the shore and says
maybe you don't love me
but you'll grow to love me even more
and I well I'm not surprised

so watch your head and then watch the ground
it?s a silly time to learn to swim when you start to drown
it's a silly time to learn to swim on the way down
if I gave you my number would it still be the same
if I saved you from drowning promise me you'll never go away
promise me you'll always stay...

-Tegan and Sara

Yeah, so here's installment one of not-by-me lyrics. This's an excerpt from "Shy," from the musical "Once Upon a Mattress." Somehow it manages to describe me perfectly....okay, maybe more the old me, but still. I still feel like this an awful lot.

And, without further ado...

----------------------
Someone's being bashful
That's no way to be, not with me
Can't you see
That I am just as embarrassed as you
And I can understand your point of view
I've always been [belts] shy!!!!!
I confess it, I'm shy
Can't you guess that this confident air
Is a mask that I wear
'Cos I'm shy..
And you may be sure
Way down deep I'm demure
Though some people I know might deny it
At bottom I'm quiet and pure...
I'm aware that it's wrong
To be meek as I am
My chances may pass me by
I pretend to be strong
But as weak as I am
All I can do is try
God knows I try
Though I'm frightened and shy
And despite the impression I give
I confess that I'm living a lie
Because I'm actually terribly timid
And horribly shy...

Date:	2002-09-14 17:48
Subject:	so yeah
Security:	Public
Mood:	okay

This journal was once for other, more *cough* personal stuff, but I've decided to change it over into a place for my writings... unfortunately, it's gonna be friends-only for the most part. This is mostly so I dont clutter up my other journal (kateisozzy). I might post random stuff for all to see from time to time. We'll see.

~K

Date:	2002-04-30 16:00
Subject:	from the quotes community
Security:	Public
Mood:	thoughtful

"Have you ever been in love? Horrible, isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and opens your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses. You build up this whole armor, for years, so no one can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life.... You give them a piece of you. They don't ask for it. They do something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so a simple phrase like 'maybe we should just be friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the mind. It's a soul hurt, a body hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love."
-Neil Gaiman